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Character Bios · Rooster Tooths

Character Bios - Red vs Blue

Red Vs Blue's Phil
Current Status:Deceased

Phil was very lonely as a child.  He was always the odd kid out when teams were being picked for kickball, he never had many friends, and he was basically pathetic.  He joined up with the Spartans in order to prove to everyone he could be a hero, but alas, it was too late for poor Phil.

The problem with Phil joining the Spartans was that he simply didn't have the demeanor for it.  As a result of his upbringing, he was very cynical, very pessimistic, and very depressed.  While these are traits that would serve him well if he wanted to try out for the role of Marvin on Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, they're not very becoming of a Spartan soldier.

It therefore came as no surprise to anyone when Phil became the company stooge.  People picked on him, made fun of him behind his back, threw stuff at him like slushballs with mud and ice in them... life for Phil just wasn't very good.  If something needed painting, he was always the man for the job.  However, Phil never complained to anyone except himself about his ill treatment, because the Spartans pay well enough for him to support his child, who he's raising alone... his wife left him because he was always depressed.

Perhaps Phil's crowning moment came when a freelancer named Wyoming mistook him for a robot named Lopez.  After a very brief interrogation that involved a cellphone, Wyoming found himself in a hurry and shot Phil in the face with a pistol.  Rest in peace, good buddy.


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Comments (1-3 of 3)
#1: Kabuse said at 2006-03-17 7:10AM:


Love the H2G2 reference. One would also wonder how he got a wife in the first place if he was so depressed.
#2: trumpeteer said at 2006-06-22 1:47PM:


Now I feel sorry for Phil...poor guy.
#3: froggerman said at 2007-01-23 8:34AM:


pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie

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