PSA 3: Game Changer

Fade in to the Universal Grifball League of America Headquarters. That's right, this is a Grifball video. But it's part of the season this time, so I have to do it. Confetti. The Grifball Commissioner approaches the Rookie, who's just standing there like a paraplegic being held up mechanically
Commissioner:
Heylo, great game today, Rookie!
Rookie:
Thanks, but I haven't been a rookie in four years.
Well, you're "Rookie" for the benefit of this transcript. Get used to it
Commissioner:
Right you are! League MVP and two championships? Team Slipspace sure has come a long way since your first year.
Rookie:
Yep, things are finally lookin' up!
Commissioner:
That's the problem.
Rookie:
What?
Commissioner:
Things are stale now that the worst team in the league wins every match - it's too predictable. So we're mixin' things up.
Rookie:
...I don't get you.
Commissioner:
How would you like some new uniforms?
Rookie:
Oh. Yeah, that actually sounds really nice.
Commissioner:
And all new maps created by the very best community cartographers.
Rookie:
H-heow - that would mix things up, sure.
Commissioner:
And wouldn't it be swell if we made you play an entirely different game than the one you're used to?
Rookie:
A-hai... what?
Commissioner:
That's right! We're changing the rules.
Rookie:
Which ones?
Commissioner:
Quite a lot, actually. So that's why I made this video.
Rookie:
You recorded on VHS?
Commissioner:
Spared every expense. To save money. For me!
Rookie:
Of course you did.
Commissioner:
Wow, my new Gold Track player looks amazing compared to this.
Rookie:
Don't you mean BluRay player?
Commissioner:
Hah ho - no that's what poor people use.
The video starts
Voiceover:
Ricochet is a new five-on-five gametype for Halo 4. Players will compete to gain possession of the ball at the beginning of each round, but that's only the start of things. Once a team moves to offense they'll have to run and pass their way to the opposing team's goal. Then they've got two options: throw the ball into the goal to score, or run it in to score big. Wanna create a map for Ricochet? Certain Affinity is holding a contest to find the best Ricochet cartographers in the community. Six finalists will get their maps into a Halo 4 playlist. The winners will receive prizes, the adoration of their peers, and a chance at immortality.
Commissioner:
Immortality pending legal approval. Adoration not guaranteed.
Voiceover:
Visit halowaypoint.com for more details on the contest.
The video ends
Commissioner:
So, what do you think?
Rookie:
I think I should check the status of my league life insurance policy.
Commissioner:
No need.
Rookie:
Oh God, don't say it.
Commissioner:
I cancelled the league's life insurance policy to pay for the awesome contest prizes.
Rookie:
Right.
Commissioner:
Well I should really be going, the match is about to begin.
Rookie:
The match?
Commissioner:
Good luck out there, Rookie. You're gonna need it.
The not-a-Rookie finds himself holding the ball, surrounded by 5 opponents
Rookie:
Oh, son of a bi-
He's hit from behind, and the screen goes blank
Commentator:
You dropped the ball.
Voiceover:
To enter the Ricochet Forge contest or for more information on contest rules, guidelines and prizes, visit halowaypoint.com. Maps will be judged by Certain Affinity, so they'd better be good. This is Stu Stuman signing off.
 

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