Episode 14: Reconciliation

Fade in to Doc and Donut looking at something
Donut:
Pretty neat, huh?
Dear God it's a Facebook clone ...called Basebook
Doc:
So, who uses this?
Donut:
Mainly just Simmons and Caboose. Ho- wait, it looks like Sarge has a profile now! Like!
Doc:
And you just, talk about yourself?
Donut:
You can post pictures and stuff too. I've been downloading this picture of Freckles for a while.
It clicks from 15% to 16%
Doc:
How long has that been going for?
Donut:
Huh, just a few hours.
Doc:
You spent hours of our limited energy just downloading a single picture?
Donut:
It is a very high quality picture.
Doc:
...Well you can't argue with that. So, is this all you did while we were out last night?
Donut:
Nope, I cleaned this base from top to bottom. It was the least I could do to make it look more presentable. I did the dishes, swept sand off the floor...
Doc:
Wow, did you clean Grif's room?
Donut:
Grif has a room?
Doc:
Well he and Simmons share that side of the base? But Grif's stuff kind of overflowed onto the roof.
Donut:
Ooh, let me take a peek!
Donut runs off
Doc:
Oh my gosh! If this post gets over 10,000 llikes, Basebook will pay for a rescue team to come save us!
Donut:
Ee-haha!
Doc:
I know, it sounds too good to be true!
Cut to Grif outside the base. He throws a Future Cube, as Donut approaches
Donut:
Dexter Grif!
Grif:
Huh?
Donut:
I can't live in this base with the way you've been treating it. The layout is all wrong, the colour pallette is attrocious, and the garden doesn't even have flowers in it! Just vegetables! Also, I think someone tried to plant candy corn at some point.
Grif:
U-hm, I wonder who did that?
Doc:
How's the testing going?
Grif:
Well Doc, after countless experiments, I've determined that the teleportation cubes are still fucking awesome. All other data's been inconclusive.
Doc:
Grif, I really think we shouldn't be messing with these. They could be dangerous! We can't just keep throwing them around all willy-nilly!
Donut:
Gimme that!
Doc:
Hey!
Donut grabs a Future Cube and throws it at Grif's crap on the roof
Grif:
My stuff!
Donut throws another over the ship and into the wild green yonder
Doc:
Nice arm.
Donut:
There. If you're not responsible enough to clean your room, then you can just say goodbye to everything that was in it.
Grif:
Oh man.
Cut to Simmons inside Blue Base
Simmons:
Hey, somebody liked my post! Things are sure lookin' up for Private Simmons!
The second Future Cube lands next to him
Simmons:
What the?
The Future Cube does its thing
Simmons:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cut to Wash approaching Tucker, who is hitting something with his rifle
Washington:
What are you doing?
Tucker:
I'm fixing, the radio.
Washington:
By beating it with the butt of your rifle?
Tucker:
It worked for you.
Washington:
But that was-
Tucker:
You know what, why don't you just come over here, and do it yourself.
Washington:
...Try connecting the antenna port to the amp.
Tucker:
What?
Washington:
If you increase the input voltage, that will just, fry the radio. But if you were to transmit through an amp-
Tucker:
All I hear are words that would get me beat up in high school.
Washington:
Tucker, I'm being serious.
Tucker:
Oh my God, stop the fucking presses. Agent Washington is being serious.
Washington:
If you just listen to me you can do this.
Tucker:
Well I don't want to do this, you ever think of that? All I want to do is stand around and talk to my friend, but he's gone now, and all I've got is you.
Washington:
...What?
Tucker:
It's fucking bullshit.
Washington:
...Heuh... Did you know I was one of the worst Freelancers in my squad? There was Agent York, our security specialist; Agent North, the sharpshooter; Carolina was an expert in martial arts and Tex was... well, you know Tex.
Tucker:
Cool story bro.
Washington:
I was known for getting a grappling hook stuck to my balls.
Tucker:
...Okay, where're you going with this?
Washington:
Church was your leader for years. You guys knew each other inside and out.
Tucker:
Dude, don't phrase it like that.
Washington:
I'm new to all of this. I've never really had to lead anybody before. But when Church and Carolina disappeared, I didn't have a choice. I had to try.
Tucker:
Well there's your problem. You try too hard man. I mean, Church wasn't the best leader ever, but he never made us run laps or do pushups or anything. He just took the blame whenever shit went wrong. That was pretty much it.
Washington:
Well... we're shipwrecked, low on food, and have to do whatever Caboose tells us or we'll be killed by a robot.
Tucker:
Sounds like you really fucked up.
Washington:
Yeah. It kind of looks that way.
Tucker:
But, I guess you weren't really our leader when the ship crashed, so you don't have to take the blame for that one.
Cut to the ship before the crash, and the power goes down
Washington:
Whoops! Sorry, knocked a cable outta the wall. Hope that wasn't important.
Red lights and alarms, you know the drill by now. Back to the present
Washington:
Eh-heh, I'll take some of the blame.
Tucker:
Whatever.
Washington:
So are you gonna fix this radio or not.
Tucker:
Well, when I started the radio was working, but the signal wasn't strong enough. And now it's just, not working.
Washington:
Sounds like you really fucked up.
Tucker:
Don't be a dick.
Washington:
You're a capable soldier, Tucker. At least compared to your usual acquaintances. You just need to... try.
Tucker:
...Oh.
Washington:
What?
Tucker:
It was just turned off.
Caboose:
Attention Blue Team team, team, team.
Washington:
Uh, yes Captain?
Caboose:
Uh, y-I know we all said that we wanted to fix the radio and that was really important, to fix the radio and the tower and all that is really important.
Washington:
We'll probably die if it's not repaired.
Caboose:
But, ah, I really need you guys to go back to Blue Base and, kinda cleeean up...
Tucker:
Clean up what?
Caboose:
Garbage, some robot parts, some gross socks, all over it's-a- Simmons, yeah uh Simmons actually won't stop rocking back and forth in the corner and it's kind of uh, kind of freaking me out.
Washington:
...And you're sure you mean Blue Base?
Freckles:
Do not question your commanding officer.
Washington:
Okay, okay. We'll be there in a few minutes.
Caboose:
Assistant Captain Ben Fred Freckles initiate piggyback sequence!
Caboose hops on Freckles' back and Freckles starts walking
Tucker:
You realize we're all going to die because of him.
Washington:
Tucker, I need you to head back to base and do what you can, I'm going out to the ship.
Tucker:
You're leaving me again? What the fuck do you need to go to the ship for?
Washington:
I found something. I just need you to buy me some time.
Tucker:
Why, what're you gonna do?
Washington:
Hopefully... I'm going to put a stop to this.
Cut to Locus walking around some corners, revealing several soldiers of his in white, and a giant spaceship in the sky
Locus:
You four, with me. We're going hunting.
 

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