Episode 18: Fire

Fade in to the firefight of Chorus
Washington:
Get to cover!
People do. People are firing at each other. Freckles is firing at Lopez C.C.
Lopez C.C.:
Perdidas.
Caption:
Missed, bitch.
One hits him
Lopez C.C.:
Ow!
Caption:
Ow!
Caboose:
Freckles, be careful!
Washington:
Dammit! We need something to draw their fire!
Sarge and Simmons emerge next to the tank
Sarge:
Simmons?
Simmons:
Shotgun!
Some soldiers round on the tank, with Sarge and Simmons in it
Sarge:
Tanks for dropping by, dirtbags, but it's high time you left!
The tank's cannon fires well above them
Simmons:
Still inverted, Sir.
Sarge:
Right.
The cannon aims down and hits them
Simmons:
Woohoo, yeah, suck it, evil ...soldier dudes.
Locus:
Heuh...
Locus cloaks, vehicles roll in behind him
Felix:
Heavy artillery!
Tucker:
What? Where did that come from?
Washington:
They must be getting in through the caves!
The tank fires at them and misses
Sarge:
Ruh-roh.
The car disappears, then drops on the soldiers from above
Grif:
Boosh! Future cubes, bitches!
Washington:
What was that!?
Donut:
Future cubes! The cubes of the future.
Sarge:
I still think they'd be better with grenades!
Grif:
Kiss my ass! W-oouh!
Caboose:
Freckles!
Lopez C.C.:
¡Un tiro y te voy a mater!
Caption:
Stop shooting me and let me kill you!
Freckles takes a hit
Freckles:
Shields critical.
Caboose:
Ah we have to help him!
Washington:
Alright, let's grab some explosives and-
Donut:
Wait. I know what to do.
Donut runs across
Washington:
What the- just cover him!
Freckles:
Shields failing.
Lopez C.C.:
Podios habernos unido Fresas. Ellos han inclinado ante nosotros como sus señores robot. Pero ahora, debes ser destruido.
Caption:
You should have joined me, Freckles. They would have bowed down to us as their Robot Overlords. But now.. you must be destroyed!
Donut:
H-alright, that's enough.
Lopez C.C.:
¿Qué?
Caption:
What?
Donut:
Don't make me hurt you.
Lopez C.C.:
¿Usted? ¿Me telera? Me gustaría verte intentarlo. Rosado.
Caption:
[You?] Hurt me? I'd like to see you try... Pinky.
Donut:
No soy rosa, soy rosa-ish.
Caption:
I'm not pink... I'm lightish-red.
Lopez C.C.:
Espere. ¿HABLA ESPAÑOL?
Caption:
Wait. YOU SPEAK SPANISH?
Donut:
¡Si! ¡Pero no muy bien!
Caption:
Yes! Just not very well!
Donut throws a Future Cube at Lopez C.C.'s feet
Lopez C.C.:
HIJO DE PUTA.
Caption:
SON OF A BITCH.
Lopez C.C. is sucked into the Future Cube, and then Lopez throws another into the minefield, where Lopez C.C. returns and is immediately blown up
Donut:
Ha roja salado a Robot Satanás, tu teriyaki lápiz circo.
Caption:
Say hello to Robot Satan, you teriyaki, pencil circus!
Tucker:
Seriously, he has an incredible arm!
Grif:
Okay, it wasn't a volcano, but I'm still taking credit for the idea!
Sarge:
Incoming!
Sarge backs the tank into a rock
Washington:
Sarge, are you okay?
Sarge:
Havin' the time of my life. The tank's pretty beat up.
Simmons:
They just keep coming!
Locus decloaks and fires a sticky bomb onto the tank
Washington:
Get out of the tank!
Simmons and Sarge evacuate the tank just before it blows up
Washington:
Dammit!
Grif:
Holy shit, those things explode!?
Donut:
Did you guys see me?
Washington:
Yes, now put those skills of yours to work and start tossing. ...Some grenades.
Donut:
On it.
Donut runs to higher ground and starts lobbing grenades at people
Donut:
You get a bomb, and you get a bomb, and you get a bomb, and you get a bomb, we all get bo-ombs!
Freckles:
Energy levels critical.
Caboose:
Guys, Freckles' in trouble! Ah, he looks tired!
Tucker:
Fuck that. Hook him up to the ship, it's got plenty of power!
Simmons:
Oh, I can do that!
Simmons backs away from the front line
Washington:
Felix, where's that backup!?
Felix:
I don't know!
Felix raises his lights hield and deflects a sniper round with it
Felix:
Fucking asshole!
Grif:
Um, I'm running out of cubes!
Washington:
Just hold on a little longer, and we'll get Freckles back online.
Simmons:
(from a distance) Um, Wash, that might be a problem!
Washington:
Urghm, I'll be right back, cover me.
Tucker:
Okay.
Tucker mans the mounted minigun turret next to him
Tucker:
Suuuck myyyy balllls!
Cut to Wash and Simmons by a computer terminal
Simmons:
I hooked up Freckles, but for some reason he's not getting any power.
Washington:
What do you mean, we should have plenty!
Simmons:
I know, but it's all being diverted somewhere else! I don't know what it could be!
Washington:
Well, where's it all going?
Simmons:
...Red Base?
Donut:
Uh oh... I uh think I know what it is.
Whip pan to Red Base, and Donut is now 57% through downloading that picture of Freckles
Back to the lads
Washington:
Downloading a picture on Basebook is draining our entire power supply!?
Donut:
It's a very high quality picture.
Washington:
How does that even make sense!?
Simmons:
We've got to cancel the download.
Donut:
But we're pinned down! How are we supposed to-
Locus aims at a grenade on a shelf behind Donut, fires, and hits it, blowing Donut forward unconsciously
Simmons:
Donut! Is he dead?
Washington:
No, but he's unconscious.
Simmons:
Oh good. 'Cause I did not want to go through that shit again.
Washington:
Felix we're a man down, where is that backup?
Felix:
I don't know, they should be here in a few minutes!
Washington:
We don't have a few minutes! If we can't get Freckles online, we won't stand a chance.
Tucker:
(below) Woh, such bullshit.
Tucker runs off
Grif:
Hey, where're you going?
Washington:
Tucker!
Tucker does a hero run across the canyon, shooting people and mines, eventually swording someone
Tucker:
And swish!
He swipes the sword through the computer terminal in Red Base, shutting down Basebook's download
Tucker:
Fuck you, Basebook.
Simmons:
He did it, we're getting power!
Freckles:
Charging.
A gun raises to the back of Tucker's head
Soldier:
Freeze!
Tucker:
Aw crap.
Soldier:
You and your friends caused us a lot of trouble. Now lay down your weapon-
The soldier is shot and killed
Tucker:
What the hell?
There stands Dos Point O, speaking in Lopez's voice
Lopez:
Pendejo
Tucker:
Dos Point O?
Lopez:
No, idiota.
Caption:
No, idiot.
Tucker:
Lopez, that was fucking awesome! Where did you get that body?
Lopez:
Lo tome de un idiota molesto.
Caption:
I took it from an annoying moron.
Tucker:
I don't know what you said, but that's great. Now let's get outta here!
Lopez:
Psh. Dos punto o. Estoy Lopez la Posado. Puta.
Caption:
Psh. Two-point-Oh. I'm Lopez the Heavy. Bitch.
Back to the fight
Freckles:
Shields 25% charged.
Shots, a soldier goes down
Sarge:
Ha hah! Eat lead, you seemingly infinite number of soldiers!
Grif:
Yeah, how does it feel to get your ass kicked by a bunch of losers? -Wait.
Washington:
Alright, everyone together now, we can do this!
Locus:
No. You can't.
Locus charges an energy weapon and shoots Wash with it from the side. Wash goes down like a bitch as Tucker and Lopez get back
Tucker:
Wash!
Caboose:
Oh no!
Simmons:
Is he okay?
Another shot takes Lopez out via head
Lopez:
Hrkh.
Tucker:
Shit!
More shots
Tucker:
Lopez!
Lopez:
¿¡En serio!? ¡Acabo de recibir este maldito cuerpo!
Caption:
Seriously!? I just got this fucking body!
Sarge:
You bastards stay away from my men! If anybody's gonna kill 'em, it's gonna be me!
Locus decloaks and takes out Sarge the same way he took out Wash
Grif:
Sarge?
A new vehicle rolls up
Felix:
Incoming!
Freckles steps up and gets shot down by the vehicle gunner
Caboose:
Freckles no!
Two explosions are heard, and friendly fighters start streaming out of a cave and firing
Fighter:
For the New Republic!
They keep coming out and yelling things, fuck if I can figure out all their lines
Felix:
They're here, that's our backup!
Shots take down soldiers
Fighter 2:
Suck it you Fed scum.
Freckles staggers back up
Freckles:
Engaging-ing targets.
Freckles takes out the vehicle, and more fighting happens
Felix:
Get to the caves, we gotta go!
Caboose:
But what about Wash and Freckles!?
Simmons:
Wait someone help me carry Sarge!
A fighter advances next to them and is shot down, and Locus starts doing brutal takedowns
Felix:
There's no time, get outta here!
Felix brings up his light shield and deflects rounds
Caboose:
But-
Grif:
Caboose, come on!
Caboose, Grif, Tucker, and Simmons escape through the cave. Tucker stops Simmons, the last one in
Tucker:
What're you doing, where's Wash?
Simmons:
He's still at the base!
Tucker:
What?
Felix stops next to a fighter
Fighter:
Sir, if we leave now, they'll just follow us back to headquarters!
Felix:
Aw shit, someone get me some explosives!
Felix runs past Tucker, who's watching the battle
Tucker:
Wait guys, there he is!
Wash is struggling to his feet
Washington:
Nugh, ungh.
Tucker:
Wash, Wash come on!
Felix:
We've gotta seal this tunnel!
Wash looks around at people dying, then looks upwards
Washington:
Freckles! Shake!
Freckles starts taking heavy steps, bringing debris down in the tunnel
Tucker:
Hey-eyhey no, what're you doing!?
The cave seals
Washington:
Heuhh...
Locus hits Wash in the head from behind, knocking him out. Again
 

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